The Real Ghostbusters Actually Had a Soundtrack Album

Did you ever watch The Real Ghostbusters and catch yourself thinking, “Wow, I wish I knew who sang those hot freestyle jams that are played at inappropriate times, like when the gang faces Lovecraftian spirits from hell“? No? (Do you even talk to yourself that way?)

Crap. I guess it really was only me then.

Anyway, in case you didn’t have this on cassette tape sometime right after your slap bracelet wore out but just before you bought your first batch of Gak, allow me to introduce to you The Real Ghostbusters soundtrack album – which is entirely made up of powerful ballads by synth goddesses Tahiti.

Apparently based one on of the show’s most threatening villains, “The Boogieman“ is the neon bermuda triangle between Nu-Shooz, Rockwell, and Yello. I think it was featured in one of the episodes he was in. Maybe? It was? (Checks article he wrote about it.) Okay good. That’s an opportunity they shouldn’t pass up.

Next up on the tacklist – er, I mean tracklist: “Movie Star”. This sounds like Tiffany’s attempt at writing a Bangles song. Can’t imagine what this was diagetic music to. A battle with a giant hentai monster in the middle of Central Park? Ray being chased by a headless horseman? Janine making pancakes…topless? Hey! Stop putting words in my mouth. 

If the previous song was a Tiffany rehash, “Remember Home” is a Debbie Gibson ballad, perfect for a moody session of mall wandering with an Orange Julius in one hand and a crucifix in the other. And when the sitar kicks in, you’ve found your own personal clearance sale in the sky…

“Party On His Mind” is Tahiti’s less catchier answer to Eddie Murphy’s “Party All The Time.” Judged on its own merits, the tune is a breezy anthem that could be mistaken for a Sheila E. demo if you had one too many long islands.

“Frankenstein is groovin’” Tahiti warns in “Midnight Action”, the duo’s only shot at Thriller-level sexual innuendo. I’m not sure if this is supposed to be taken as a euphamism for something, as Tahiti’s lyrics are always suggestive anyhow. (Right? They made other music…right? Tell me they did.)

In conclusion, The Real Ghostbusters soundtrack is good music for exorcising, poltergeisting, or making sweet, sweet love to your spectral boothang. Remember kids – busting makes you feel good.