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Torchwood: Children Of Earth episode 2 review

Simon Brew


The foot goes off the gas a little with Children Of Earth's second episode, but it's still blissfully entertaining telly...

Published on Jul 7, 2009

After a breakneck opening episode, it was almost inevitable that Torchwood: Children Of Earth would have to relax the pace as it headed into episode two. With John Fay taking over the writing reigns, the first business is to clear up the ‘cliffhanger' from the first episode. Last time, we saw the Torchwood base blown up with Jack inside it (and the bomb inside him), as a result of an order from Government Home Office minister, Mr Frobisher. We're not quite sure why he gave the order, but nonetheless, he gave it nonetheless.

Thus, we get to see Eve Myles' Gwen making a fairly ineffective Lara Croft clone, unconvincingly firing her guns at supposed sharp shooters who were in turn trying to gun her down. Somehow, she escaped, although don't ask this reviewer how. Meanwhile, Ianto too is being chased down, and he too escapes capture, thanks to the most incompetent enemy firing this side of a Star Wars movie.

Jack, though, has seemingly been blown into pieces. Given that the Torchwood hub has been destroyed, the theory is that Captain Jack will now be permanently dead. Yet actually the explosion has had strange side effects, namely he's been plastered in red makeup and told to roll around a bed in agony. Fair game, John Barrowman is more than up to the job.

Frobisher, meanwhile, finally gets the detail of the message that was broadcast on the 456 frequency, which appears to be plans to build something. But that aside, we don't get too much more about chanting children, or more of the 456, until later in the episode. Instead, the first half of the episode is building up some of the human elements of the story. Saves a few quid in the process, we suspect.

Thus, Ianto manages to get a meeting with his sister, courtesy of some help with local neighbours in detracting prying eyes. He takes her laptop, thanks her, and moves on quickly. Gwen, meanwhile, escapes to London with her bloke (Rhys) - after a quick escape from government officials (with the help of an officious, Health and Safety-quoting police officer) - on top of a bunch of potatoes. She reveals to her bloke that she's pregnant. He's happy. That's nice. And we move swiftly on, as she ends up arranging a meeting, so she thinks, with Frobisher.

Only it isn't Frobisher who turns up, rather Lois Habiba. For someone on the second day on the job, she's throwing official information around - gleamed from some sort of extraterrestrial Facebook - with abandon. Surely there's got to be more to her than this, rather than a plot facilitator? Is she really the goodie two shoes she's coming across as here?

Jack, meanwhile, is firmly in trouble. His captors, once he washes his red makeup off, have realised he can't be killed, and thus they've taken the next logical step and contained him in concrete instead. That sounds likes a good plan, to be fair, even if it makes him Torchwood's equivalent of a Han Solo figure. Yikes. You also wonder why it hasn't been done before.

Still, mysteries continue. Just why is the government, and Frobisher, so keen to get Torchwood out of the way? There's still not much in the way of a clue there. Why is the incoming threat targeted so specifically at the UK? Is it because of limits in the BBC's budget, as it spent all of the overseas sci-fi allowance on the Doctor Who special earlier in the year?

Also, what exactly is coming? Given that the programme is called 'Children Of Earth', there's a distinct lack of, well, children in this episode. We get the ankelbiters chanting in unison again, telling us they're arriving tomorrow, and we'd wager that means somewhere around 9.45pm tomorrow night. But even they only pop up once here, and it does dilute a little of the momentum and sinister feel of episode one.

The back end of the episode also has its fair share of nonsense, to be fair. Gwen, Rhys and Ianto look to bust Jack out of his concrete prison, promptly get cornered, and then somehow contrive to break away using a forklift truck. More to the point, a forklift truck weighed down by a concrete block. Never mind that the pursuing troops could overtake it on foot if they tried, they instead take up firing positions from long distance. Why? Where's the threat? Did I miss something there? It's not as if Gwen can shoot straight or anything.

Even when they somehow manage to set a tanker to explode with what may as well be a loose Swan Vesta, surely all it takes a group of troops to do is walk round said explosion, amble in the direction of the forklift - which for good measure then takes an age to drop its concrete payload - take out the Torchwood team and be back home in time for Countdown?

Sillyness aside, the episode then converges back on Frobisher, and the containment tank he's built in double quick time - that's science fiction government contractors for you - in response to the instructions from the 456. Filled with a poisonous gas, we're tantalised with the question of why us, and clearly Frobisher has more to do with this than he's letting on.

It did all feel like the foot was a little off the gas compared to episode one (and the move to BBC One does seem to have tamed Torchwood a little), but Children Of Earth is still, for my money, bubbling up quite nicely. Granted, it felt like some of the budget was being banked, and the old sonic device was taking out cameras like there was no tomorrow. But heck, whatever's coming is coming tomorrow, so there's a beer in my fridge and a reserved seat on my sofa to see just what's around the corner.

Thus far, even though Torchwood has toned down a little for its new home, this five episode season idea is proving it's got legs...

 

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Re: Torchwood: Children Of Earth episode 2 review
Posted By cordas 1 July 7, 2009 09:24:26 PM

I enjoyed the episode, and really wonder why so much bitching about character developement and the like.... That said the Secret Ops people do seem to have been selected for their inability to shoot... maybe their PC legislation means they aren't allowed to advertise for compotent henchmen....

Re: Torchwood: Children Of Earth episode 2 review
Posted By lurgus 1 July 7, 2009 09:31:50 PM

I nearly fell out off my chair with laughter when Gwen jumped sideways whilst firing two guns. I'm hoping that tomorrow she will get a chance to be by the sea somewhere, firing her gun into the air whilst shouting Nooooo! I can put up with silliness and logic holes when it is as much fun as this.

Re: Torchwood: Children Of Earth episode 2 review
Posted By MarvMarble 1 July 8, 2009 01:22:47 AM

Yeah, Eve Myles can't quite do the shooty action stuff can she, bless her heart. I'm really enjoying this episode though. I disagree that it slowed down a bit this episode though. If anything I thought it sped up somewhat!

Re: Torchwood: Children Of Earth episode 2 review
Posted By Robmac 1 July 8, 2009 07:51:27 AM

What a great night of telly, first this and even with the silly block of concrete it was still ace, followed by Charlie Brooker on channel 4 being angry and interviewing Richard Herring who was sporting a Hitler mousache... a nights (legal) entertainment doesnt get better than this.

Re: Torchwood: Children Of Earth episode 2 review
Posted By Slacker 1 July 8, 2009 08:30:37 AM

Thought Episode 1 was pretty average,but this episode was much better - Even counting the dodgy forklift getaway! Looking forward to Episode 3.

Re: Torchwood: Children Of Earth episode 2 review
Posted By capt_1ntens0 1 July 8, 2009 10:29:55 AM

Agree with everyone above, thought this review (despite the fact you're clearly enjoying it) seemed rather negative when I felt it was a breakneck pace compared to the first episode. The action's kicked in much quicker than I expected. What is it about British TV though where they just cannot do gunplay very well. The scenes with the shooting should have been on a par with an average 24 shoot-out but just came across as badly staged cap gun firing. Always had the same problem with Doctor Who. Think maybe the sounds play a part- all sounds so tinny, where's the meaty gun sound effects BBC? I don't care if its not accurate! As someone who was generally disappointed with season 2, I am fully back on board with this.

Re: Torchwood: Children Of Earth episode 2 review
Posted By simonbrew 1 July 8, 2009 11:47:53 AM

Don't get me wrong - I've no downer on the show, and this is not supposed to be a negative review. Torchwood has always been a warts and all show as far as I'm concerned, and I think this new series has been a hoot.

Re: Torchwood: Children Of Earth episode 2 review
Posted By AndyBee 1 July 8, 2009 11:48:25 AM

Agree with the points about gun-play being a bit ropey. However don't agree with Capt Intenso's statement about it being a British TV / BBC thing. Look at Spooks and Life on Mars - the gun scenes are well orchestrated there... As much as I loved the episode, I agree with Simon in that my imagination had to be stretched quite a margin to accept the being able to run away from crack-shots (though this happens in 24 many times) and the fork-lift debacle.

Re: Torchwood: Children Of Earth episode 2 review
Posted By DratVanity 1 July 8, 2009 11:55:53 AM

Sorry, I do think your review was over the top negative. I thought it was a cracking episode, better than yesterdays. Plenty of stand-out moments (skinless Jack, concrete-pouring, ruins of Cardiff bay). Plus we got gore, nudity, swearing...how has it toned down exactly?

Re: Torchwood: Children Of Earth episode 2 review
Posted By simonbrew 1 July 8, 2009 12:22:14 PM

I preferred the first episode; though it felt like it had been fired straight out of a gun, and was relentless. I thought this one inevitably had to slow down to deal with some business, but still had plenty in it to enjoy. I thought it was dafter, but again, I took that in the spirit of it. No worries of course if you think I'm coming across too negative. I try to write these as an immediate snapshot straight after I've seen the piece, and they're deliberately reactive. It'd be no fun if we all agreed :-)

Re: Torchwood: Children Of Earth episode 2 review
Posted By McCarthy 1 July 8, 2009 12:48:35 PM

Torchwood constantly has one good episode for every two bad ones. This was a bad one. Eve Myles is the most unconvincing gunner I've ever seen and the whole forklift bit was so utterly ridiculous I started laughing. Sharpshooters wouldn't miss! It's their job not to miss, especially not that horrendously! Get normal soldiers/henchman to fail that badly, otherwise you fling me straight out of any immersion within the story. hi i'm Lois Habiba, annoying plot device. She says her name one more time I will fling my remote at the tv. Simon, you're review was spot on.

Re: Torchwood: Children Of Earth episode 2 review
Posted By DangerousDave 1 July 8, 2009 01:44:06 PM

Actually I preferred episode 1. Mainly because the gackground music and pacing seemed a bit more grown-up than normal. Episode 2 was far more "Dr Who" in the relentless travelling (via car, foot and potato truck) and the continuous rousing background music. Also, I likes the loose ends dangling in ep.1, I felt too many were neatly ties up in ep.2 - too early, surely some could be left until ep.3 or 4?

Re: Torchwood: Children Of Earth episode 2 review
Posted By LizLemon 1 July 8, 2009 09:17:56 PM

How creepy were those body bag scenes, eh?

Re: Torchwood: Children Of Earth episode 2 review
Posted By wandering_mik 1 August 1, 2009 02:39:58 PM

Probably not the right forum..but TW C of E episode 2 I think or maybe 1 anyway...the hospital in East Grinstead...King whatever no such one...but the East Grinstead's hospital is The Queen Victoria...a link for the geeks perhaps???
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Torchwood: Children Of Earth

Torchwood: Children Of Earth

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