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Superhero movies by star ratings

Simon Brew


The world of superhero movies needs righting. And we've got just the fella to do it...

Published on May 25, 2007

Welcome to the latest in our series of ready-reckoners, which has so far led to strenous complaints from both Harrison Ford and Kevin Costner's 'people'. Er, not really.

Because this'll a) put people in a bad mood, b) get people writing to us saying things like 'i h8 ur shitty site' or c) leave people nonplussed, I'll put these in order, top to bottom.

Usual rules: if I've not watched it, I can't rate it. I'm happy to put Catwoman in as a one star special if you want, purely on the back of feedback received though, if you want?


The 5 out of 5 Superhero Movies

Superman (brilliant)
Superman II (just as brilliant)
Batman Begins (so good, I can’t watch the Tim Burton version)
Hulk (deal with it)


The 4 out of 5 Superhero Movies

X-men 2 (much better than number one)
Batman (ah, still got a soft spot for it)
Batman Returns (the first half hour is brilliant)
Spider-man 2 (before the franchise went wrong)
Blade II (surprisingly very good)
Mask of Zorro (great fun)


The 3 out of 5 Superhero Movies

X-men 3 (deal with that, too)
Superman 3 (guilty pleasure I’m afraid)
Superman Returns (flawed, but still good)
Spider-man 1 (too ponderous, but some good bits)
Daredevil (er, another guilty pleasure)
The Mask (as fun as superhero movies get)
Spider-man 3 (not as bad as it was made out to be)
Hellboy (good, but a crushing disappointment)
Darkman (not bad)
The Shadow (hilarious, for the wrong reasons)
Supergirl (ahem…)


The 2 out of 5 Superhero Movies

X-men 1 (overrated)
Ghost Rider (crap)
Fantastic Four (aka Burger King The Movie)
Blade (overrated)
The Rocketeer (had high hopes for this, too)
Mystery Men (had promise, but not much cop)


The 1 out of 5 Superhero Movies

Batman Forever (awful)
Batman and Robin (awful)
Superman 4 (Nuclear Man!)
Condorman (er…)
Elektra (awful)
Judge Dredd (criminal)
My Super Ex-Girlfriend (horrific)
The Phantom (Billy Zane is not a superhero. Ever.)

Next time: The Cruiser...

 

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Users Comments

Re: Superhero movies by star ratings
Posted By sarahofthedead 1 May 25, 2007 09:58:05 AM

Ghost Rider is a three star movie, at least. I don't like some of your four and five star movies, but I haven't seen lots of them, either. :(

Re: Superhero movies by star ratings
Posted By cjlines 1 May 25, 2007 01:46:34 PM

i h8 ur shitty site! But seriously. Dude, wtf? There's no sense in debating as it's all purely subjective but I think I disagree with every single rating on that list, from the films I've seen. But ... why does everyone think "Blade II" is so good? It's the weakest of the three, for my money. It's overlong, badly paced and lacking either the energy of the first or the humour of the third. The visual style doesn't suit the themes either and the only good things are the monsters. And don't start dissin' my man Billy Zane ...

Re: Superhero movies by star ratings
Posted By twosheds 1 May 25, 2007 01:56:03 PM

Hellboy is a formulaic waste of time, poor Ron Perlman repeating his Beauty And The Beast thing, arghhhhh.....

Re: Superhero movies by star ratings
Posted By simonbrew 1 May 25, 2007 02:02:18 PM

Craig: you disagree with EVERY SINGLE RATING on the list? Cool! My work here is done...

Re: Superhero movies by star ratings
Posted By cjlines 1 May 25, 2007 02:16:38 PM

Every single rating for the movies I've seen, yes. I haven't seen some of them though (including - and you'll be horrified - "Batman Begins"). Still, at least no movie on there is anywhere near as bad as "Sideways".

Re: Superhero movies by star ratings
Posted By simonbrew 1 May 25, 2007 03:53:56 PM

It must be tough. Next to the work of the Lohan, it must be a struggle to fit everything else in ;-)

Re: Superhero movies by star ratings
Posted By Maxwell 1 May 26, 2007 07:44:15 AM

What Sarah sees in Ghostrider is beyond me...I watched it yesterday and it's pants. It's disjointed and annoying, with almost no reverence to the source material. But what realy grinds is the bits that a plain 'stupid'. The part where the previous Ghostrider rides with the current one, only to tell him at the end that he can't come with him because he could change only one more time was pathetic! At no point in the movie prior to this does it mention they can transform a limited number of times! The transformation is also another issue, when it first happens to Mr Blaze it obviously hurts, as does turning human again, but after that it's like flipping a light switch. Worst of all was the dead animal they found to use as a wig for Nick Cage, it looked about as real as the awful CGI (maybe it was CGI?). The Ghostrider comics where cool, but very little of them made it into that movie.

Re: Superhero movies by star ratings
Posted By Robmac 1 May 26, 2007 10:14:44 AM

Even though Simons unwavering love for the Hulk as a movie is still so very very wrong (Hulk dogs..just no) thats a pretty good list. My suggestion is to do one of B-movie comic book adaptations such as Howard the Duck, the first Punisher, Flash Gordon and The Phantom - all of which have there merits. Also whenever anyone ever does a list like this they (including myself) seem to forget the Mask and Men in Black, both of which were comc book adaptations.

Re: Superhero movies by star ratings
Posted By simonbrew 1 May 27, 2007 09:47:38 PM

The Mask is in the list, Men in Black is not a superhero movie, and The Hulk is majestic. That is all.

Re: Superhero movies by star ratings
Posted By twosheds 1 May 28, 2007 12:22:49 PM

Best ever superhero movies: Superman I & II (same film really) Spiderman 2 Batman Returns (all of it) Soft spot: Ghostrider - Elvis on fire fighting the devil, anyone who doesn't dig it has had their mojo stolen. The Rocketeer - Art Deco sci-fi with Betty Page thrown in, a superb translation from the graphic novels. The Hulk - For unrealised good intentions; went to the wrong director (even Ang Lee himself admits it) Unutterable super-shite Blade II ...full of sound and fury signifying a bloody awful MTV-out, a celluloid lobotomy . Catwoman - A great disservice to Michelle Pfeiffer, and a waste of a great actress in the lead.

Re: Superhero movies by star ratings
Posted By twosheds 1 May 28, 2007 12:25:45 PM

Okay I really need implementation of carriage returns in the CMS

Re: Superhero movies by star ratings
Posted By sitar_tattoo 1 November 23, 2007 07:20:01 PM

Philip Seymour Hoffman should have a superhero movie. When my dreams come true and that happens, every other film on this list will. Not. Matter.
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The Hulk. What. A. Film. The Hulk. What. A. Film.

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