Nothing says ‘ninja trained deadly assassin inspired by one of nature's most vicious predators' like a yellow and blue get-up with stripes and a winged helmet face mask thingy

The only thing really missing is the joypad and a health bar.

It feels like we're following surly teenagers around for a couple of hours, only leaving you at the bit in their early 20s when they bother to lighten up

It seems as though there's a big scrap on this year for who can spend the most money on turning out the crappiest film

Had Star Trek not arrived a week later, you just wonder if $200m may have been within its grasp