Your shoulders and head are well protected, but, what's this? You've taken off all of the armour that should protect your vital organs and replaced it with some tapestry? That you've stitched into your own skin?

You'll have to divide up the wanky American-sounding comments between Holt and Anderson, but Mulcahy can be squarely blamed for everything he says without fear of misplaced hatred

Resident Evil: Extinction knows what it is. It knows who its audience is. And it's out to have fun, safe in the knowledge that as long as Milla keeps kicking things, people will keep buying tickets.